June 14, 2018: Emotional Preparation

And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  - Ephesians 5:2 (ESV)

DISCLAIMER: Before we begin, let me preface this by saying:

This is a long one, haha.

Additionally, this brief look at Emotional Preparation may not be what you were expecting, but I hope that it will be helpful to you nonetheless!

During my first trip to the Czech Republic back in 2012, which took place about 20 minutes away from the camp at which we will be serving, we spent three weeks teaching English in various schools, hosting nightly youth group events, and organizing larger youth/community events such as soccer tournaments, lock-ins, and presentations about the United States. We had 3 or so main translators helping us throughout this time and one of our translators, who I will call Patrik, seemed to struggle a lot with his faith and with God. One night, before my team and I were to take a group outing the next day to a nearby town, I asked God to help me to be an encouragement to Patrik and an example of Christ's love to him. This is what happened:

When my team and I arrived at our destination the next morning, we all split off into groups to go into various shops and agreed to meet at a certain restaurant to have lunch. I had no intention of souvenir shopping like some of my other team members; instead, I was focused on buying just one thing: chocolate. I had run out of my own supply and as I had fallen in love with the European chocolate brand Milka, I had asked if we could find a small grocery store so that I could replenish my chocolate supply. My group was obliging.

Inside of the store, we quickly found the chocolate aisle and began looking through the various types of chocolate. As I was grabbing the flavor of Milka that I had come to enjoy the most (called, "Happy Cows"), one of my team members (who I will call Grace,) pointed to another type of Milka and said, "This is Patrik's favorite."

Her comment was meant to be a fun fact, but my stomach had dropped. My thoughts began to race and I was feeling slightly panicked.

"No, no, no!" I thought. "This CAN'T be the way in which I'm supposed to show love. I can't buy chocolate for a guy! What will he think? It will be misinterpreted! It's too awkward! Do you really want me to do this, God?"

I didn't tell my team member or the other translator why I was taking so long--they just thought that I simply couldn't decide if I wanted to grab another chocolate bar or not--but internally I was torn. I had prayed specifically for an opportunity to show love but this wasn't what I was expecting. Surely God wasn't expecting me, a woman, to represent Him in this way?

Flashback to 5 years earlier: I was participating in a Work & Witness trip to Ciudad Hidalgo, Chiapas, Mexico with some other church members and it was after that trip that I first felt called to be a missionary. One of my biggest regrets from that trip was failing to express the love that I felt for so many of the people we met. Being naturally shy and reserved, expressing feeling isn't always easy for me and when I left that trip, I vowed never to let my natural reservation get in the way of loving people again. I started off my trip to the Czech Republic with this same commitment.

Back to the candy aisle in the Czech Republic, I continued to mentally debate this until a thought crossed my mind: "Am I really going to choose my own comfort over loving someone?" I asked myself.

The answer was no, so I bought the chocolate.

Patrik was in an especially bad mood that day, and when we arrived back in the town in which we were serving, we all began to walk back to our place of residence. I caught up with Patrik and said, "Patrik! I got this for you today." I handed him the chocolate bar. "Grace said that it was your favorite kind."

Patrik was noticeably uncomfortable. "I can't accept this," he said.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I just can't."

This went on a few times more and finally I said, "But I buy things for all of my friends."

Just a side note: I had had a discussion with Patrik a week or so prior about the constancy of God's love for us and our inability to lose it. Patrik didn't think that this was true, so I told him that to help to be an example of this, I would commit to being his friend no matter how he treated me, as he tended to treat me rather poorly. He had said, "I won't make this easy for you." I had responded, "I don't expect you to."

And indeed--he hadn't made it very easy at all.

"I buy things for all of my friends," I had replied. What Patrik said next has stayed with me to this day, as it signified that he truly understood the meaning behind the gesture and that God knew what He was doing when He prompted me to buy the chocolate bar:

"And do you love all of your friends?" Patrik had asked.

(Boom)

"I do," I replied, "and you are one of my friends."

Patrik's demeanor changed after that.

"Thank you," he said.

And he accepted the chocolate.

I share this story with you all because it was honestly one of the most uncomfortable yet rewarding experiences that I have ever gone through. It required sacrifice of comfort and appearance, a willingness to let myself look like a fool, and a commitment to showing Christ's love openly. even in the form of a candy bar. Six years later, I'm still amazed by Patrik's understanding of the gesture and by the meaning that a simple chocolate bar could carry. I've not had many moments like this since then (and "thankfully," I might add), but I often think of this story when I think about what it means for me to love others openly and sacrificially, knowing that Christ loved me openly and sacrificially on the cross.

The cross wasn't hidden from view--Jesus wasn't off to the side somewhere as He was pierced for our transgressions. He was naked, brutalized, and mounted on a high hill where everyone could see him and where, for us, the gesture of love would be undeniable. If Christ endured all of this for our sake, how can we not endure temporary shame or embarrassment for the sake of others? How can we not love openly when Christ loved us openly, undeniably, and unapologetically? If this is the example that He set for us, how can we ignore the call to do this for others?

And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

In a little over three weeks, we will all be outside of our element to some extent. Even if we love kids, the language barrier will be obvious. Even if we've done mission work in the past, this will still be a new experience. Even if we've been to the Czech Republic or Eastern Europe before, these are still new lives that we are encountering. It will be easy to be shy, reserved, hesitant, and apprehensive. However, if I can encourage you in any way, I want to encourage you with this: don't come away from this trip with regrets.

I can't stress enough the importance of loving these kids. Vojta and I were talking about donated materials a few months ago, and he mentioned that these kids aren't lacking in material things--that is, they don't need food or clothing or toys or anything like that. What they do need, however, is love. What they do need is attention. What they do need is to know and experience the true adoption as sons that is offered to them in Jesus Christ. We can't show this kind of love if we love ourselves or our comfort more than we love them. We have to be willing to love deeply, to love openly, and to love sacrificially.

Emotional preparation in this case represents our hearts--are you ready to love? Are you going into this trip with a willingness to let your heart be used, stretched, and broken by God? Can we commit to not only being the hands and feet of Jesus, but to sharing the heart of Jesus as well?

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. - 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

22 Days.